The Doggy Door
by goodgollymolly
Summary: Blaine tries to surprise Kurt by sneaking into the Hudmel house, but his plan goes awry. Oneshot!


A/N: Hey everyone, long time no see! I've really missed writing, I've just been exceptionally busy, and I'm very sorry. I have another story that should be up Thursday, but for now I hope you like this little thing! Again, your reviews/messages/favorites have really made me feel great through my period of awful writer's block and much cello playing (I'm a professional musician in addition to being student). You are all awesome! (Btw, this isn't my fav, and it's mostly dialogue, but the idea just wouldn't leave me alone!). Hugs for everyone! :)

Also, as always, my tumblr is: goodgollyimmolly(.)tumblr(.)com!

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><p>"I cannot understand how you thought this would be romantic," Kurt hissed.<p>

"I wanted to surprise you!" Blaine cried. "I was being spontaneous!"

"By sneaking into my house through the dog door? That screams romance and spontaneity to you?"

"You're angry," Blaine said sadly, hanging his head, "and I didn't count on my bottom half not fitting through the thing!"

"Really, why should I-oof-be angry? It's two in the morning and I'm trying to pull my boyfriend through a dog door. In what world wouldn't I be a bit upset?" Kurt grunted as he pulled on Blaine's arms.

"Hey! That hurts!" Blaine groaned.

"You know, when you said you were bad at romance, I thought you were lying," Kurt pulled harder, "but if this is the ultimate romantic gesture, maybe you should leave the cutesy stuff to me!"

"Ouch," Blaine said, face screwed up in pain. "Maybe you should try pushing me in from the back."

"You're just trying to get me to touch your ass," Kurt groaned, dropping Blaine's arms

"Maybe," Blaine grinned, "but it could help!"

"You're incorrigible," Kurt sighed.

"Only in the best way-GOD! Kurt, don't pull that hard!"

"Maybe you should cut back on the biscotti," Kurt grumbled as he continued to try to pull Blaine free.

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Well, I'm not the one trapped in a dog door!"

"You're mean-I was just being romantic, and now you're insulting me!"

"Dude, Kurt, can you keep it down?" Finn said as he clambered into the kitchen, "I mean, I know the need for a midnight snack-what is Blaine doing here?"

"Hi Finn," Blaine waved from the door.

"Um, Finn, could you not tell my dad about this?" Kurt asked.

"Why is Blaine in the dog door?" Finn ignored Kurt, looking confused.

"I was trying to surprise Kurt," Blaine answered, hanging his head, "but then I got stuck."

"You're like the size of a miniature poodle," Finn said, "how did you get stuck?"

"According to Kurt, it's because I'm fat."

"I didn't say that," Kurt hissed.

"It was implied!"

"Well, maybe if someone's ass-"

"Dudes, dudes, just hold it, I'll call Puck-"

"You will not call Noah, he'll tell everyone!" Kurt looked horrified at the thought.

"Hey, he can break into anything! He'll totally know what to do." Finn nodded, still looking at Blaine.

"Fine, call him," Kurt sighed, handing Finn his phone.

"Yeah, Puck? It's Finn…yes, I know it's 2am, but I need your help, well, I don't, Kurt and Blaine do. So, Blaine is stuck in the dog door, and we need to get him out…Yes I'm serious! Sure, dude, I'll take a picture, just a-"

"Finn, give me my phone," Kurt shrieked.

"Fine, here you go!"

"Noah, you will be at my house in ten minutes to help me extricate my well-intentioned but exceedingly stupid boyfriend from the door of my kitchen. I will meet you outside."

Kurt ended the call and surveyed the scene. Blaine was still stuck in the door, but now Finn was trying to pull him out.

"Maybe if we coat him in cooking oil-"

"No, Finn," Kurt said, rubbing his temples, "Blaine, try wiggling while Finn pulls."

"That's what she-"

"Finn Hudson, if you finish that statement, I will not hesitate to show your mother the contents of your internet history."

"That's cold, Kurt," Blaine said from the door.

"Get the cooking oil, Finn," Kurt said, throwing a devilish towards Blaine.

"Oh come on! You can't be serious-"

"Here we go," Finn interrupted, holding up the cooking oil.

"Kurt, please, I swear, don't do this," Blaine pleaded, "I will do anything you want-"

"Anything?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Anything-AUGH! Something is touching my butt!" Blaine squealed.

"Blaine, stop squirming!"

"Something is grabbing my ass! In what world would I not be squirming?"

"Dude, it's just me," a voice hissed from outside.

"Who is it?" Kurt asked, trying to peer out the window.

"It's Puck! Jesus Hummel, you called me!"

"Okay, okay…let me think a second…and will you please stop touching my boyfriend's butt?"

"Please?" Blaine squeaked after him.

"It's not like I'm interested!" Puck called. "Just hurry up and think, I'm freezing my ass off out here."

"I've been here an hour, think of how I feel," Blaine groaned, "wait, Puck, did you just take a picture?"

"Maybe," Puck answered, "and send to all…"

"Noah, as much as I admire your antics, you're going to push Blaine while Finn and I pull, okay?"

"Sure dude! We'll get the hobbit out," Puck said.

"Okay, on three," Kurt called, taking one of Blaine's arms and gesturing at Finn to take the other, "one…two…THREE!"

"Augh! That hurts, oh my God," Blaine groaned.

"What's going on?" A voice growled from upstairs.

Kurt dropped Blaine's arm and looked around, wild-eyed. "Shit, we woke dad up-OH MY GOD!"

The only sound that could be heard was the splintering of wood as Blaine was partially freed. Though he was fully inside, the dog door was still secured around his waist.

"Kurt, Finn! Are you alright?" Burt had bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen and was brandishing a baseball bat, "Did someone break in? Are you both-why is there a hole in the door? And what are Puck and Blaine doing here?"

"Blaine, sweetheart, what's that around your waist?" Carole yawned.

Kurt had pulled Blaine to his feet and was quickly dusting him off. "It's the dog door, Carole," Kurt seethed, "Blaine was trying to surprise me."

"Oh dear," she giggled, "well, isn't he a sight for sore eyes, don't you think, Burt?"

"That's for sure," Burt deadpanned, dropping the bat.

Blaine grinned sheepishly at them, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, I didn't mean to, I really was just trying to surprise Kurt."

"Honey, it's Carole, and we understand-"

"We do?" Burt interrupted.

"Yes, we do. Now why don't you boys go to bed? Blaine's probably freezing, and Noah can't be much better."

"Thanks Mrs. H," Puck said as Finn let him in the house, "y'know, I didn't mean to help the hobbit break the door."

"I'm not even that short!"

"C'mon, let's get that dog door off of you kid," Burt said, "then you can go up to bed."

"I don't have to sleep on the couch?"

"I like the couch, and seeing as you've already destroyed my kitchen door tonight, I think a bed may be safest."


End file.
